When we think of weighty matters – such as family and children – on a purely human horizontal perspective, we often end up with earth- bound, time bound and culture bound perspectives.

1. Children: Four blind spots to avoid

For Christians, here are four earth-bound perspectives to avoid.

Children are not “a financial cost-benefit issue”. So don’t decide them on a dollar and cents calculus.

Neither should children be “a personal freedom” pros-and-cons decision. So don’t base children on “how free or enslaved” we might be basis.

Nor should children be “a sustainability matter” of straining or relieving the world’s resources.

So don’t reason through this on a narrow “survival of the world” framework. We can’t see that far. We are not divine.

Lastly, children should not be weighed up as “a morality debate” of adding-subtracting to the suffering quotient of our children or our world.

So don’t tangle ourselves with subjective truths. We can’t know the things of this world omnisciently without God.

2. Children: Three angles for a 20/20 vision

We need a small dose of humility to acknowledge that our human perspectives are very limited and our human solutions are often conflicted.

On the other hand, when we read the Bible and humbly see things from God’s eyes, we see his eternal purposes more clearly through a 3-sided prism.

First, we see his good design in creation. Then, we see his sovereignty over our fall into sin. Finally, we grasp his best design in re-creating us through Jesus.

I am penning a fuller Biblical reflection of a Christian perspective on marriage and family in a forthcoming book.

For now, in a nutshell, we should be counter cultural in two ways.

A) We should promote both singleness and marriage as gifts and valid status for us (1 Corinthians 7).

Jesus our Lord is both the perfect single and perfect bridegroom. Both singles and marrieds can look to him to live out our blessings.

B) Those with a gift of marriage should marry younger and stay covenantally married for sexual purity.

As believers, we marry for holiness for God’s glory not for self happiness.

We should also “ask why not” have more kids, instead of “why have children”?

By God’s grace, our church (ARPC) is experiencing both earlier marriages and more children.

This is not to declare that we have perfect and problem-free families. Far from it! We have our fair share of broken people and dysfunctional families.

Yet, we seek to affirm and testify that God’s good design in creation and God’s best design in redemption is worth embarking on, enduring for and maturing in.

For now, here are some other views that were shared in a Salt & Light article that I was honored to be part of.

Let us keep humbly praying and seeking to obey God despite the challenges of flourishing in a fallen world – whether we are single or married, are blessed with children or not.